


Formless

by jayjang



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angel to Human, Angel!Sasuke, Different lifetimes, Fallen Angel, Human!Naruto, Human!Sasuke, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Naruto's Pure Soul, Reincarnation, The Angel is a Name Thief, repeated major character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:30:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9115075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjang/pseuds/jayjang
Summary: The Angel falls in love with a human causing said Angel to be cast out of heaven.Reincarnated, the newly human Sasuke spends his time with the love of his life Naruto, with the condition that he dies the moment Naruto does. They go through a cycle of life and death, meeting each other again and again (sometimes not at all), without any idea who the other is.ORthe story where Sasuke forgets he's an angel and is only reminded of the past a few moments before he dies, which sucks. No wonder he's grumpy all the fuckin' time.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> First things first, I don't own any of the characters, we all know who it belongs to. 
> 
> Second, all mistakes are mine. This is not beta'd and sometimes I get a little too excited to post, and may over look some writing errors, so please have mercy. I revise every now and then, so if you spot any errors just message me or what. 
> 
> Lastly, go on and read! Hope you like it! :)

The day is beautiful. Yes, it might be a little too bright for Sasuke’s taste, but the sun is not scorching his pale skin, and the wind caressing his face is cool, so he savors it.

He savors the beat of his feet on the pavement as he runs, he savors the slow trickle of sweat on his back, and he savors his every labored breath as he pushes himself to run another lap around the park.

There’s a familiar blond man running in front of him _, a running buddy_ his mind supplied. Only they are far from being buddies since neither of them talk with each other. The only interaction they share are timid nods when the other passes by every weekends for a morning run.

_ More like a running stranger, _ he thinks to himself, scoffing at how ridiculous it sounds.

The blond man abruptly stopped, bending in half to re-tie his shoe laces, which caught Sasuke off guard and unceremoniously bumped into the man in front of him. The man almost stumbled to his face if his hands were not quick enough to prop himself on the road.

Sasuke's hands involuntarily went to the man's sides to cushion himself from the impact. His fingers twitched as he held the firm waist-hips of his stranger running buddy. They stayed in that position for seconds as the blond man tried to gain enough balance not to fall face first on the ground. Sasuke backed away, almost reluctant to remove his hands from the man.

Sasuke stood there awkwardly wiping both of his hands on his jersey while the blond man straightened and dusted his hands then proceeded to properly look at the man who bumped into him.

There’s an apology ready on Sasuke’s lips but all of it was temporarily forgotten when he was faced with a twinkling sky of blue eyes. If he thought before that his running stranger buddy was good looking, all sweaty and straight faced while running, he was not prepared to see the man's smile directed at him. He was dumbstruck. 

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have stopped” The blond said sheepishly, offering his hands for a handshake, which doesn’t make any sense because you’re not supposed to shake hands when saying sorry. Realizing his mistake the blond laughed nervously slowly withdrawing his offered hand and scratched the side of his neck.

“What, so you’ll trip on your feet instead?” Sasuke winced at the words that came out of his mouth. He wanted to slap himself for the low key insult. _Way to make a first impression, Sasuke!_

Sasuke must have made a face because the blond man was laughing and it sounded like wind chimes… Sasuke loves wind chimes.

“You’re funny… I like you. I’m Naruto by the way” The blond offered his hand once again for a handshake and this time, the accompanying smile is sincere but teasing.

Sasuke grasped the offered hand and shook it. Once, then again and again. And gone.

There’s a tingling sensation flowing through Sasuke’s hands all through his gut.

“I’m Sasuke…”

"Hi Sasuke... hello... ahaha" Naruto said testing the name as the syllables rolled smoothly from his tongue, trailing off as his mind ran out of words to say to beautiful man in front of him. 

"Hi... Naruto..." Sasuke figured out that he likes the sound of his name from Naruto and there's something familiar with Naruto's name on his lips, he doesn't know why.

Time passes and they're standing face to face, studying each other's faces with wonder.

Someone bumped into Sasuke's shoulders, breaking the moment.

Naruto started to jog in place, ready to continue what both of them are in the park for. 

“Nice to meet you Sasuke!” Naruto beamed and gestured something with his arms, like he’s flailing.

Sasuke squinted and made a shooing motion with his hands. If possible, Naruto’s grin widened and made two thumbs up to Sasuke while jogging sideways. The blond almost tripped on the side walk. He abruptly turned back to Sasuke and winked before jogging away from him.

Sasuke was left standing on the jogger’s lane looking at Naruto’s ass… no scratch that. Naruto’s back, yup his back, definitely.

Sasuke shook his head when an unbidden image of messy blond hair and blue eyes in HIS bed flashed on his mind. For goodness sake, he just learned the man’s name, there’s no way he’s already imagining himself waking up next to Naruto in the mornings. Nope. Not possible.

He breathed deeply and started his jog once again, trying his best not to jog too fast so he could catch up to Naruto. He’ll at least finish another lap before joining the blond.

As Sasuke reached the part of the park near the highway, his blood ran cold. His legs stopped moving and he can’t look away from the sight unfolding in front of him.

Everything happened all at once like a scene from a clichéd movie.

A little boy around three years old came running towards the street, oblivious and laughing.

A motorcycle whipped past the boy which made him fall on his back.

There's a woman in the side walk, presumably his mother is screaming and crying for help.

Sasuke’s heart stopped when he spotted Naruto ready to run towards the child.

He willed himself to run fast towards the the scene when he felt rather than heard a loud screeching sound ringing on his head. His knees folded in half. A myriad of images are flashing right behind his eyes, a blender of sounds echoing inside of his head. All of them features one thing: eyes like the clear sky, a soft teasing smile and the sound of laughter like the wind chimes on a windy day.

“I love you Sasuke, my angel”

Sasuke's eyes are wide and he is gulping loads of air like he just drowned.

There's a flash of yellow dashing through the streets and what made Sasuke’s blood run cold is that Naruto is suddenly beside the boy, carrying him towards the sidewalk. 

“NARUTOSTOP!!”

There’s a loud crashing sound a few cars from the other end of the highway.

There's a truck tipping sideways towards Naruto and the boy.

Naruto managed to run nearer the sidewalk and toss the boy on the grass before the truck hit him. 

People gathered towards the scene of the accident.

A man is calling 911 for an ambulance and the mother is wailing while hugging his saved child on the grass, thanking the now crushed body of the man who just saved his baby.

The child is now crying with his mother.

Sasuke dropped lifeless on the floor, hands clutching his chest as if in pain, his eyes are blank.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The angel meets his new charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update took forever! But it's here now :) Not beta'd.

When angels are off-duty, they don’t loiter around in heaven like the ghosts of the dead. They don’t play tag and run around green immaculate fields, nor play violins and harps. Also, whoever thought that angels spend their time looking cute on clouds naked got it all wrong because angels, when off-duty, simply hibernate.

Angels hibernate like beasts on dark caves. Only, there are no actual caves to hide themselves, and no physical bodies to do the hiding because angels have no form – they are air. Being formless allows these celestial creatures to caress your skin and whisper in your ears; whispers that are far louder than your average scream as they aim straight to your core.

Angels are inherently subtle, but not weak, they are soldiers after all. They are soldiers filled with every intention to enforce righteousness, continuously and obediently. Angels are made with no other reason than to fulfill their duties and follow their creator.

Yet, like fingerprints, nothing is made the same, only alike. These angels may look stiff as a board soldiers but they are not lifeless dummies. In fact, you will later find out that they do have some interesting quirks of their own.

Oh, and lastly, angels have no names.

…

“My precious one…” A deep gentle voice called upon one of his Angels from its slumber.

There’s a shift in the air, like the beginnings of a tornado over a dry field. An awakening of sorts, limbs stretching, testing their reach.

“Yes, my Lord”

“It’s time”

Not even a second later, the Angel is snapped out of his dormancy and is rushing out of heaven like a comet pummeling into the Earth, letting the pull of the soul of his human charge guide him – in a building at the middle of a busy city.

The Angel felt disoriented and stumbled, accidentally knocking open the closed window of the hospital room causing the thin curtain to billow against the sudden gust of wind.

Sea legs, the humans call it.

The Angel came from a very long inactivity, he’s allowed to be ruffled this ONE time.     

Finally feeling composed, the Angel took in the scene in front of him. There are three children lying on their respective beds, not one of them are newly born.

If the Angel had an actual head, it would be tilted to the side in confusion because, usually, guardian angels are assigned to souls of babies. He’s sure that the soul of the four foot-eleven-inch boy that his grace is attached to is far from being newly born.

The Angel may be feeling flustered and a bit closed-off, but he’s still respectful enough to acknowledge the presence of his brethren who is swirling lazily above the sleeping boy at the corner of the room near the door.

Shifting his attention from his brethren and its human, he noticed that the child at the middle of the room is missing his guardian angel which means, he’s already dead. Technically, angels are assigned to souls, and the soul of the said boy left its body a long time ago, though its body is forcibly being held up by the machines attached to the boy’s frail physique.

This is also the reason why the Angel can clearly see the physicality of the boy, because he is already soulless.

You see, angels are not equipped with the ability to see the physical form of living human beings. This is because their souls are too bright, too powerful that the only thing that angels can have a glimpse of are their eyes.

Souls are like the sun, they shine like a beacon in the darkness of space.

Especially newborn souls which are pure, devoid of any impurities that their souls shine brighter than anything.

Through the years though, human souls get tainted – they lie, they kill, they listen to demons. Sin makes one’s soul lose their radiance, these are the things that the angels must stop from happening. Angels need to save the souls from losing their light, because once a soul becomes dull as a rock, they are sent to hell to become demons… eventually.

Which brings the Angel, to the soul in front of him.

Fire.

Like a raging red fire in the middle of a windy night by the sea, that’s what Naruto Uzumaki’s soul looks like.

The Angel is mesmerized as he slowly drifted towards his charge. The boy’s soul is clean, almost new, not even the soft dark grays marring its soul can ruin its beauty, it still looks… alluring. The Angel can’t help but wonder about what happened to the angel who took care of Naruto’s soul first.

He wonders, but finds it useless to ask when no one is there to give him answers.

Staying still at the end of Naruto’s bed, the Angel silently watched the flickering soul of the boy who is sleeping in front of him.

…

Naruto is blind.

Seven years of age, parent-less, and has clear blue eyes that reminds the Angel of sapphires and diamonds. The Angel can see the clear sky reflected in the eyes of the child that cannot see the life bustling around him.

This said child is unblinkingly looking straight at his direction, it almost looks like Naruto can see him.

During the day, more people come and go inside the room, mostly, nurses. They check on the child located near the door. Occasionally, a nurse will check the vitals and change the IV of the soulless child plugged into the machine, and lastly, at four hours’ interval, another nurse will check on Naruto - give him medications, check his vital signs and ask him questions.

Naruto doesn’t answer, just observes with his unseeing eyes.

Naruto was involved in a bus accident which broke the bones on the right side of his body: his leg, arms and ribs, as well as a cracked skull. The doctors treated the boy’s broken body until his head was tightly bandaged and his limbs and chest are secured by a cast.

Two weeks ago, the doctors could have sworn that Naruto is going to slowly fade away due to the severity of his injuries and possible complications from the accident. But after two weeks, Naruto is healing nicely, even surprising the nurses and doctors at the fast rate of his recovery.

 _Miracle_ , they all say.

The Angel doesn’t doubt it. What happened to Naruto is clearly a result of divine intervention because while humans are resilient in nature, their bodies are full of limitations that can only heal itself to an extent.

A groan escaped from Naruto’s lips and in an instant the heavenly soldier hovered above Naruto, observing the rapid dance of his soul as the child dreams of flashes of bright white lights and sounds of tires screeching, women yelling and children screaming for help.

Tears escape from the child’s closed eyes.

A miracle indeed, the Angel thought.

He can’t help but slowly put the pieces of information together. Maybe the last guardian used his powers to heal the child without orders from heaven. If that’s true, the previous angel must have been sent back to heaven for suspension.  

Angels do not have the right to use their powers to perform miracles without direct command from heaven. Messing with life and death is beyond any angel’s business, they have no right to alter what inevitable.

Another whimper escaped from Naruto and were the Angel a human, he would have cried with the boy. But he’s an angel, he can only watch from above Naruto’s bed, feeling sorry for the kid but unable to empathize the hurt the child must be feeling. Emotion is just a word for them, he knows it, but can never comprehend.

So, he hovers above Naruto, looking at the soul whose body is still wrapped in cement and bandages, an IV attached to his left hand, with no one to visit him but the doctors and nurses at four hours’ interval.

The angel does nothing.

…

Naruto refuses to talk.

Three months at the hospital and Naruto never spoke a word, just grunts of pain and meek nods when asked. It’s not like he’s mute, but talking seems pointless.

It doesn’t mean he’s not grateful, though. During his healthier moments, he takes time to patiently make origami flowers with one arm and half a hand, randomly leaving them on the side table or in the pockets of his nurses and doctors.

People are touched, or maybe filled with pity, that they gave Naruto a stack of colored papers and markers.

Naruto’s broken legs and arms are healing like they didn’t break. It scares Naruto because recovery means one thing, being discharged from the comfort of the hospital.  

He has literally no one even before the accident, he’s been blind ever since the group home took him in at the age of two. He’s got no one to pay for the hospital bills, and no one to go to after he’s been discharged. Going back to where he came from is out of the question because he’s not going to work as a beggar again. Being placed in the system is a foreign thing but, it’s not like he has a choice.

It was just his luck that the bus he was riding got into an accident that landed him in the hospital.

Oh, how he wished he just died.

“How do you feel today, Naruto?” The doctor asked.

Naruto turned his head in the direction of the voice and tilted his head.

The doctor, Tsunade, sighed at the lack of response from Naruto but continued talking.

“Your legs and arms are doing great… but we still have to keep the cast, for one more week to be sure, okay?” She paused and checked her clipboard “then, physical therapy”

Naruto nodded, head bowed down.

The doctor looked at the boy in front of him, the image is tugging at her heart.

When the boy arrived in the ER, the only identification he has on him is a poorly laminated and poorly written card that was found in the young boy’s tattered pocket. Written in it is the boy’s name, birthday and place of birth.

“Naruto…”, Tsunade touched the boy’s hands, “do you have any relatives or friends?”, the doctor asked concerned.

Naruto shook his head.

“At this point, a month is the shortest time we’re looking at for your discharge…less, even, and,” The doctor paused, “you can’t stay here forever. You’re still a minor… and someone from the social service is going to be talking to you soon... you know that, right?”

Naruto turned his head away from the doctor. The rest of her words are loud but Naruto refused to listen.

He feels numb and no matter how sweet and caring the doctor’s voice may be, it does nothing to his bleeding heart.

…

That night, Naruto’s dreams are the same flashes of light and deafening chaos.

He woke up with the same darkness he fell asleep with. His neck is damp with tears that are still freely coming out of his eyes.

A sob escaped him, body curling inwards, willing himself to be smaller, like a child taking comfort in the warmth of its mother’s womb. But the only embrace that the boy felt is the cold wind that leaves his skin clammy with goosebumps.

It does not help that at the end of his bed, he can feel a set of eyes boring into his being, intruding. Naruto always felt its presence since he woke up but is too weak to acknowledge it.

“Who’s there?” Naruto called out, his voice coming out of his throat like a sand paper, it’s rough, and it hurts and he’s parched.

Not one to give up, he felt the silence around him, noting that the sharp set of eyes are in fact, still boring into his very core. Nothing aside from the steady beeping sound beside his bed and the occasional scuffle from the patient near the door can be heard, not even the faint sound of breathing.

With practiced movements, he slowly sat down and leaned his back on the headboard without having to move his broken arms and legs much. He sat straight and stared straight into the direction where he felt the set of eyes are coming from, hoping to creep the hell out of his mysterious visitor. 

Naruto patiently stared at the space in front of him waiting for any movement or sound coming from them, because he’s sure as hell there’s someone or something there, whatever it might be, he can feel it. Naruto can feel its presence… and its calming, like a hot bath on a cold day. Its presence drilling warmth into his bones.

So, Naruto stared until he can, and he couldn’t be bothered to do anything else because participating in this bizarre stare off is better than having to go back to his nightmares.

…

If angels are equipped with the ability to feel the full range of emotions humans have, he’d have to say he’ll be perplexed. Never in the Angel’s lifetime has anyone felt his presence, more so, pin point where exactly he is.

Maybe because of the child’s lack of sight that his senses are hypersensitive to feel other-worldly presence?

That must be it.

The angel kept staring at the boy’s eyes until the boy eventually drifted off to a dreamless slumber.

…

Naruto woke up to the sound of soft voices and muted screech of wheels. Patient number 1, the one nearest the door was being wheeled out of the room together with his guardian angel.

Now, only Naruto and the dead boy beside him occupies the room which made it bleaker than it already is.

To the great surprise of Naruto’s nurse, the boy, with his voice sounding like rough wood, asked for a glass of water. His raspy voice making the nurse wince. A few hours later, the sound of soft murmurs and giggles can be heard from Naruto’s room.

Who knew the blind orphan boy can be so charming.

…

“Who’s there?” Naruto once again asked the space around him, his voice sounding more firm and normal, unlike the night before where it was choppy and rough.

This time, instead of just staying in one place, the Angel drifted towards the right side of Naruto’s bed. Naruto’s head turned to the right. The Angel went to the left side, and Naruto’s turned to the left. The angel settled himself on the foot of Naruto’s bed just like the night before and stayed there, motionless. And just like the night before, Naruto stared at the space in front of him until he’s tired and drowsy with sleep.

Naruto didn’t have nightmares that night and he’s thankful for that.

On the third day, Naruto asked to borrow a small clock from his nurse and requested her to teach him where the alarm dials and batteries are.

That night, Naruto waited for the time when he felt his nightly visitor the strongest and removed the batteries of the clock to mark the time.

…

“Who’s there?”, Naruto patiently asked like the previous nights, “I can feel you, you know?”, Naruto continued.

And just like the previous nights, he’s met with silence.

“I can be quite stubborn, you know?”

The mysterious presence stood its ground at the end of Naruto’s bed.

“I know you’re there, I’m not stopping until you talk to me” Naruto paused.

A cool night air caressed Naruto’s skin making him shiver.

“You’re a ghost, are you?”

The angel just stared at the weird kid in front of him.

…

Sakura peered inside the quiet hospital room at the end of the corridor where two boys lay in contrast with each other on their respective beds. She’s thankful that Naruto seems to radiate life now, compared to the broken body of bones and spirit when the boy first arrived. Unlike the other boy who’s still lying motionless beside Naruto.

“Sakura-chan!”

Sakura smiled, now used to the blind boy greeting her even before she fully stepped inside the room.

“Still can’t figure out how you do that,” She said because god knows she’s a bit creeped out. But of course, an innocent blond boy sensing her presence is nothing compared to the things she’s witnessed all throughout her career as a nurse.

“Well… for one, you smell… sweet, sugary, like a cotton candy” Naruto remembered when they were left at the park near the food stands to ask for scraps of food and spare change. The smell of cotton candy from the cotton candy vendor is enough for him to have a sugar rush.

Sakura giggled and proceeded to check his vitals and give him his medications.

“You know, you actually look good these past few days… healthy.” Sakura pinched one of his cheeks lightly. “With a bit of sunshine, I’m sure you’ll be charming the ladies in the streets”

It’s Naruto’s turn to throw his nurse a smile. He doesn’t know how he looks but lets the happiness he feels wash over him.

A feeling of protectiveness washed over Sakura as Naruto smiled at her. She can’t help but feel bitter at the current state of the boy, his innocence reminding her of the time when she herself is filled with dreams and hopes, thinking of all the good things in this world.

Also, not to mention that Naruto is too cute for his own sake.

She’s going to take him for a walk one of these days. She smiled to herself and continued to arrange the medications and empty syringes in her tray.

“Sakura-chan, do you believe in ghosts?” Naruto is staring in front of his bed, and it suddenly made Sakura’s hair stand on end.

“Uhh… well… I guess?”, She glanced over the other sleeping boy in the room, “I haven’t seen one yet”

Naruto laughed, a bit forced. “Oh, surely I won’t be seeing one too”

“That’s fortunate, Naruto, coz’ I wouldn’t dream of seeing a ghost in my lifetime, you know”

Sakura patted the top of Naruto’s head to comfort him, silently wishing that life be kind to the boy. There are far way frightening and damaging things in life than ghosts.

“Sakura-chan… it gets really chilly at night, I…”

There’s something in the way Naruto said it that made Sakura’s hands sweat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to adjust the air-con” The nurse said in a beat, almost cutting Naruto off.

Sakura took one last look at two of her patients before setting the temperature higher and closed the door gently behind her.  

Naruto laid back on his bed feeling the room get warmer.

…

Naruto woke up with the feeling of cold air on his feet. He groaned and tucked his toes closer to him.

“Anyone in there?” Naruto asked out of instinct more than curiosity. Naruto was once again faced with the monotonous beeping sounds from the machines.

“Well, if you insist the silent treatment…” Naruto feels a bit silly, murmuring to himself with this creature who never once verbally responded to him.

Well, maybe it can’t speak. There’s nothing wrong with that considering that he can’t see.

He sighed and decided to continue his monologue.

“I’m sorry, maybe you can’t talk? It’s alright, I can talk for the both of us. The nurses say I talk too much.”

 _I know._ The angel wants to say, and almost whispered to the space between them. Knowing that sometimes the nurses especially Sakura stays a hell lot longer than 15minutes with Naruto when he talks.

“I’m Naruto by the way… do you have a name?” Naruto asked taking a seat and leaned on the headboard.

Clearly woken up without traces of sleep.

“Well, maybe I can call you Casper. I’ve watched – no not watch in the exact sense,” Naruto laughed awkwardly, “But the kids from where I came, they watch it all the time, you know… Casper, the Friendly Ghost. You haven’t harmed me til’ now, so I guess you’re friendly?” Naruto continued to babble on nonsense.

The angel is starting to itch inside his skin, like a knocking inside him that urges him to act, to move, to say something. Anything. 

“So? Last chance, what’s your name? or I’ll really just call you – “

“I don’t have one” The angel said, finally giving in to the insistent feeling he’s having since day one.

The voice that answered Naruto is loud in his ears, like an articulate whisper that hides no secret.

“I knew it!! I’m not imagining things or crazy. How come you don’t have a name? I can give you one if you like!”

An overwhelming feeling hits him, a moment of desire. He wants to be the one to give Naruto a name, like a gift. The Angel looked around the room and saw the hospital bracelet of the lifeless boy beside Naruto’s bed.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

“Sa-chi… just call me Sachi…”

The moment the angel gave Naruto his pretend name, he felt like he just made a mistake.

Names are sacred, it means that you are your own individual. It’s the reason why angels don’t have names because they don’t belong to themselves, they belong to a higher system so standardized that individualism is not an option.

“Sachi…”

And yet, the moment Naruto called to him, he felt like the sun just rose from the sky in the middle of the night. It’s warm and bright and he likes it… _Sachi_ likes it. Naruto is fire and Sachi can’t help but absorb the warmth of his human’s soul.

For the first time in his entire existence, he broke the law. A feeling of dread washed over him, a need to correct himself. Erase Naruto’s memory… that’s what he should do. Instead, he caressed Naruto’s cheek and put him back to sleep.

Naruto’s eyes felt heavy, fatigue fell upon him like a boulder. His eyes slowly closed, a smile upon his lips.  

…

Naruto woke up feeling lighter than he has ever been. 

_Sachi._

At last he has a name to call the ghost aside from almost calling it Casper.

Sachi’s presence feels different, he doesn’t have that solid feel that his nurses and doctors have, instead, his’ feels like dirt after a night of rain, muddy. Not quite solid and can easily slip between your fingers, except during that time of the night when Naruto can feel Sachi the strongest.

Every night at 10:00 Naruto can feel his ghost friend as solidly as he does with people. He couldn’t care less that he’s possibly going nuts, or even be wary of the supernatural being that watches over him, because really, the only thing that scares him these days is the day when his social worker finally pays him a visit.

He must be going crazy, Naruto thought every day as he giddily waits for the day to end.

…

The sound of steady beeps pierced at Naruto’ consciousness effectively waking him up. He blindly reached for the clock beside his head to turn off the alarm.

It’s exactly 10:00 and there it is, he can feel Sachi standing at the end of his bed. It’s not like Naruto didn’t try calling out to him during the day, but he can’t grasp Sachi as firmly as he does during this hour particularly.

“Sachi?” Naruto tried, hoping that last night was not some dream or figment of his overactive imagination.

The only answer he’s met with is the muffled sound of steps along the corridor, and the periodic beeps from the machine beside him.

Maybe last night was a one-time deal.

Naruto called once again, just to be sure, because he’s certain that there’s a third being in the room and it’s standing directly in front of him.

“You sure are shy… aren’t you?”, Naruto re-arranged his position so he’s slightly reclined, “It’s alright just like what I said… I can talk for both of us. But seriously, try to talk… because I know you can. I’d love to see but I can’t”

The angel once again found his resolve not to communicate with the boy faltering. He knows he shouldn’t, because angels are not supposed to converse with their humans, or rather, humans do not have the ability to talk to angels… like a normal person.

But Naruto sounded so… conflicted.

“There’s a reason why you can’t see” Sachi whispered, internally berating himself for being weak.

The angel remembered how their elders taught them that each human goes through hardships for a reason, even though they may never know the reason for it.

“Well… I don’t know that; do you know why?” Naruto started, suddenly angry at the angel’s response.

“I don’t, but I know that everything happens for a reason” Sachi said almost cautiously as he observed Naruto’s soul flicker in frustration. He doesn’t know why Naruto feels the way he does, he just said the truth.

Naruto huffed and shook his head.

Naruto heard that line before, countless of times. That everything happens for a reason… He’s sick of it because what reason could it possibly be?

He’s an orphan and he’s blind, and now he’s in a hospital recovering from broken bones and memories from an accident and he has no one. To top it off, he’s currently talking to a ghost.

There must be one hell of a reason why all this shit is happening to him.

“You’ll know it someday, I’m sure” Sachi reassured the boy, though his soul continues to burn in confusion and weariness.

The assurance did nothing to settle Naruto’s soul. Naruto stopped talking and turned to his side as he clutched the small hospital pillow. Naruto wanted to cry but his eyes are dry and his heart is numbed. So, surrendering to the familiar darkness, he slept leaving Sachi to himself.

 

Talking to Naruto turned out to be a bad idea after all. They only managed to exchange a few lines and Sachi already found himself failing at his job as a guardian.

The angel found himself wanting to blow the blanket away from Naruto. He did not want the boy to sleep.

He was supposed to be used to being ignored. People ignore them, like the air that they are. He’s not supposed to feel lost as Naruto finally went to sleep leaving him hanging after reaching out.

Sachi watched as Naruto’s soul settle into a fitful sleep, dreams of lights and sounds that are too familiar bombarded the boy’s slumber. He pushed down the unsettling feeling of disappointment at the center of his being. Angels are complete entities, they don’t feel loss because their creator completes them.  

The angel started to pray and slowly, he felt grounded. 

…

Days pass by in a blur of lambent souls and invisible grace of angels guarding their humans.

Naruto’s spirit grew more restless as his wounds heal, muscles regain their strength, and bones rebuild themselves.

The idea of being back out into the world is gnawing at him, he almost regrets getting used to the comfort provided by his creaky bed and scratchy sheets, of the hospital food that tastes heavenly compared to the taste of spoiled milk and stale bread. He’s terrified of even thinking about the moment he steps out of the hospital. It scares him, and he hates himself for it.

He’s used to being alone with no family and no friends, because that’s the truth. And Naruto hates himself to want something more than life has given him. Naruto hates the feeling of hope that consumes him, thinking that he’ll be given a chance to be a part of a family. Maybe a couple who wants a child, but cannot have one, someone who loves to give hugs.

Then out of nowhere, he’ll remember people don’t like broken things, that broken things are sent to the trash. He’ll be thrown somewhere, be another mouth to feed by strangers who make it a point that the stomachs they fill know who they are and repay them in cash, or kind, or labor… or with their bodies.

He’s seen it before, with his ears and nose and senses that are far too sensitive. The children from his last home are being used as beggars… he was one of them. It just so happened that someone took pity on him and hauled him on a bus.

Naruto’s soul bleeds pain and chaos. It hurts to look at him, but the angel stares, mesmerized.

…

Dr. Tsunade smells strongly of anti-septic and faintly of liquor.

She’s a hard-ass according to Sakura’s stories. Naruto thinks so too because Dr. Tsunade never sugarcoats anything, her words are sharp just the way Naruto likes them because he’s just as forward with his thoughts as she is. So, most of the time, Naruto opens to her, tell her a bit of his sob story, jokes about it to her.

Sometimes, Naruto imagines himself having her as a mom.

“Naruto…” Dr. Tsunade started and with the sound of her voice, Naruto knows the words even before she says them.

“When?” Naruto asks, putting up a brave front, keeping his face as impassive as he can.

There’s no need to skirt around the subject, he knows that he’s overstaying and there’s only so much that he can ask more from the doctor. She’s been delaying his discharge for as long as she can and for that Naruto is indebted to her.

“A week”, Tsunade sighed as she poked and prodded at Naruto’s limbs and head.

It’s no secret that Tsunade took a liking to the boy, in fact she’s the one who keeps on delaying his discharge, breaking some obscure hospital law along the way. She doesn’t care though, because the heart is traitorous and stubborn, and for the longest time, her heart once again sings to her that she can make Naruto’s life better. That she can save him from the loneliness and pain that Tsunade herself went through. That looking after this boy will somehow make her a little less mad at the world.

“What do you expect, brat? A lifetime accommodation?”

Naruto deflated, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Doc”  

Tsunade looked at Naruto with soft eyes, she hates to see the kid go without the assurance that he’ll be in good company. If only she has it in her to be a bit braver, Tsunade will take Naruto in a heartbeat. But she has a track record of ruining everything good that comes into her life, and she doesn’t want to take a risk. No… not with Naruto. 

“Hey… look”, The doctor laughed as Naruto’s face scrunched up, “I have a friend, he’s a good man… you can stay with him”

Warm hands covered Naruto’s cold ones, reassuring.

For a moment, the boy sat still, overwhelmed with hope at the doctor’s words. He trusts the doctor, and he owes Tsunade his life, he’ll do anything she says just to show her how grateful he is for everything she’s done.

“Okay…” Naruto said, his face blooming into a smile. It was the most radiant smile that Tsunade saw in so long, it makes her eyes cloudy with tears.

She coughed, clearing her throat.

“Continue with your medications, and for god’s sake, stop hitting on my nurses”

“You’re just jealous, old hag”

“Pfft” 

Tsunade is about to go out of the door Naruto called to him, “Hey, Doc? Thank you”.

Tsunade nodded, even though Naruto can’t see it. She closed the door and pulled out her phone, she has a long phone call to make.

…

Naruto didn’t sleep that day, too giddy to stay put in his bed. Even the pain he must go through with his physical therapy session did not erase the smile in his face and the burning joy in his eyes.

Sachi can see it clearly, bright as the sun after a rainy day. It’s contagious, the lightness in his soul. The angel rejoices by blowing cool winds in the trees where Naruto lying down - by an old tree in the garden.

Naruto smiled, contented where his head is laying on the grass, pleased with the prospect of a better future.

“Thank you, Sachi” Naruto murmured to the space around him.

The angel looked at the closed eyes of Naruto and the wholeness of the burning soul in front of him. For a moment Sachi longs to see him. Instead, He settles for what he can do for now, whisper to the earth to bring him cool winds and soft sunlight for Naruto to bask in.


End file.
